When we’re talking about God, we’re talking about every single one of those moments—whether they’re Earth-shatteringly loud and large or infinitesimally small and whisper-like, mere slivers you inadvertently stumble upon—
moments when you are convinced, even if you’ve been burned and let down and betrayed countless times—
that cynicism does not have the last word, that life is not random or meaningless or empty, but that what you do and how you feel and what you say and where you go and what you make of this life you’ve been given matters.
THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT THAT THAT NEEDS URGENT DECISION
A couple of days ago, I witnessed this conversation between my 80 year old patient and his wife.
Wife: Bakit ka ba hindi makatulog? Ano bang iniisip mo?
Wife: Ako? Bakit? Eh ang bait ko naman sayo ah.
Patient: Eh kung mabiyuda ka.
Wife: Ha? Eh matanda na ko, wala nang magkakagusto sa kin.
Patient: Ano ka! Maganda ka pa rin ah.
I. JUST. MELT.
It was more than sweet and way way beyond romantic!
I later on learned that they were married for 57 years and that my patient was still very affectionate with his wife before he got sick and semi-bed bound. When he is at his most vulnerable phase because of his illness, I would always hear him say: “I love you” to his wife even if she’s not around.
I got temporarily lost in my empty thoughts. And wondered—and still wonder and hope and long if there will be that man for me.
I’m now thinking about all the times I tried to renovate (renovate!!!) the way I look and dress up hoping that somehow the attempted come-hither look would ensnare those “fishes in the sea” and one of them would choose to stay even when the net breaks and the spell was lifted.
It feels good to look good although I was never the kind to dress up for anyone. But I think it’s a deep-seated psychology to be attractive and to attract. But attraction is just a weak magnet. All I want to say is, after all the effort people—especially girls put into BECOMING BEAUTIFUL, they deserve someone who will help nourish their beauty not only revel in it.
Maybe spouses who still find each other beautiful were not only admirers of that beauty when they were young. Maybe they were also “enhancers’ of it as the years pass by for both of them. And maybe that’s why whenever they see their spouse, they see the wonderful things they’ve done and they see their life’s work too. And maybe that’s why, some women stay pretty in their husband’s eyes—no matter how old they both are, because he helped cultivate her so. And he is proud and happy with a craft well done.